I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
