Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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