How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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