Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
