In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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