he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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