White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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