I'm really into asian looking animals
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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