I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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