I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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