Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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