i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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