Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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