If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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