just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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