Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm too high and old for this...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
