My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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