Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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