But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize