Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize