Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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