i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize