Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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