currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
