A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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