a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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