That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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