maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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