So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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