So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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