Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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