ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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