It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
