if you like me you must not know who I am
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
