butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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