He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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