You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
