none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
