Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
