ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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