I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I cut my penus on the lid.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
