nutella sex= disaster
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
