her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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