Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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