I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
