I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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