you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
