Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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