I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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