Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.

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(703): worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma. http://tfl.nu/3aau

Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (3771)
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(630): View more from Illinois

That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.

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(630): That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it. http://tfl.nu/khhu

Replies (12) Good night (728) Bad night (3238)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?

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(630): Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions? http://tfl.nu/adl4

Replies (16) Good night (3170) Bad night (705)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

(847): View more from Illinois

Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

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(773): I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant. (847): Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you. http://tfl.nu/48mv

Replies (63) Good night (3020) Bad night (6186)
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(616): View more from Michigan

my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

does that include her cleaning your bowl?

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(616): my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave. (1-616): does that include her cleaning your bowl? http://tfl.nu/8sts

Replies (10) Good night (5878) Bad night (1234)
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(805): View more from California

My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.

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(805): My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore. http://tfl.nu/yzqd

Replies (9) Good night (2156) Bad night (1244)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel

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(307): they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel http://tfl.nu/a8sv

Replies (7) Good night (1783) Bad night (933)
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(206): View more from Washington

Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.

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(206): Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional. http://tfl.nu/t1vf

Replies (10) Good night (2704) Bad night (610)
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(518): View more from New York

Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.

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(518): Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew. http://tfl.nu/8r8n

Replies (31) Good night (3668) Bad night (1473)
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(713): View more from Texas

Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.

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(713): Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America. http://tfl.nu/d35e

Replies (12) Good night (1788) Bad night (660)
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(913): View more from Kansas

She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?

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(913): She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car? http://tfl.nu/qi3u

Replies (13) Good night (1356) Bad night (574)
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(805): View more from California

Are you feeling okay?

(1-805): View more from California

Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.

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(805): Are you feeling okay? (1-805): Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/wneq

Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (474)
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(561): View more from Florida

You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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(561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11

Replies (6) Good night (416) Bad night (1186)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.

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(405): I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow. http://tfl.nu/lb44

Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (433)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed

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(608): I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed http://tfl.nu/mucx

Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (332)

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