Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

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(314): View more from Missouri

Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.

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(630): View more from Illinois

is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?

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(216): View more from Ohio

There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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(804): View more from Virginia

She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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(314): View more from Missouri

Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?

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