yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?