Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.

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(404): View more from Georgia

He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.

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(510): View more from California

I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear

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(973): View more from New Jersey

How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

(862): View more from New Jersey

This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

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(404): View more from Georgia

hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives

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