hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
