dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
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Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
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She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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