He is an equal opportunity slut.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
