Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
