Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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