Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize