He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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