Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
