Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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