It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
