I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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