his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
