so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
