and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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